~She dances by the light of the moon~
Saturday, January 18, 2003
Friday was...
my first day back at work and I was actually glad to be back. Everyone was very friendly asking me how I was feeling, etc.
Some rude customer ran over Loretta's foot with the shopping cart. They didn't even say "I'm sorry" or "excuse me".
Since it was so slow some cashiers were sent out to help zone. They sent me two. I was very grateful for the help as I never get help from anyone except Nancy and Loretta and my dept. is huge. One of them was about useless "I can't bend over or reach up high". I felt like saying "Well, what can you do?" But I just said "Oh, I welcome any help and there are plenty of shelves in the middle." So, when I went to break I had them do the toothpaste aisle! hahahahaa I HATE the toothpaste.
Now, while I am grateful for the help I do not understand management and I probably never will. There was no one working in Toys. So, why didn't they send those cashiers to the Toy dept? No, they sent two of them to my area then when I was done, sent Loretta and I to Toys.
That is a fate worse than death. In my area, things make sense.....shampoos go next to conditioners...lotion and bodywash go together. In Toys everything is scattered from hell to breakfast. So I just picked shit up off the floor and when it got to be 9:50 I told Loretta "Let's go!"
As Wal*Mart Turns......
Now Winter has my cold. I picked her up after work last night and she has a runny nose and cough. I hope she isn't in as much misery as I was the poor thing.
Tom went to Blake's after school and they played with their Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards. Tom traded some of his cards and one of the ones he got was a mermaid card. He said he got that one because he knew I would like it. He has a good heart.
my first day back at work and I was actually glad to be back. Everyone was very friendly asking me how I was feeling, etc.
Some rude customer ran over Loretta's foot with the shopping cart. They didn't even say "I'm sorry" or "excuse me".
Since it was so slow some cashiers were sent out to help zone. They sent me two. I was very grateful for the help as I never get help from anyone except Nancy and Loretta and my dept. is huge. One of them was about useless "I can't bend over or reach up high". I felt like saying "Well, what can you do?" But I just said "Oh, I welcome any help and there are plenty of shelves in the middle." So, when I went to break I had them do the toothpaste aisle! hahahahaa I HATE the toothpaste.
Now, while I am grateful for the help I do not understand management and I probably never will. There was no one working in Toys. So, why didn't they send those cashiers to the Toy dept? No, they sent two of them to my area then when I was done, sent Loretta and I to Toys.
That is a fate worse than death. In my area, things make sense.....shampoos go next to conditioners...lotion and bodywash go together. In Toys everything is scattered from hell to breakfast. So I just picked shit up off the floor and when it got to be 9:50 I told Loretta "Let's go!"
As Wal*Mart Turns......
Now Winter has my cold. I picked her up after work last night and she has a runny nose and cough. I hope she isn't in as much misery as I was the poor thing.
Tom went to Blake's after school and they played with their Yu-Gi-Oh trading cards. Tom traded some of his cards and one of the ones he got was a mermaid card. He said he got that one because he knew I would like it. He has a good heart.
Thursday, January 16, 2003
Breath....
What a lovely concept. I can breathe now! I don't have to blow my nose every 2 seconds (literally...that is how it was) and my eyes aren't watering. My voice is approaching normal. Hallelujah! I can say "Merry Meet" now instead of "Berry Beet!" LOL!!!
Went out last night and saw "Just Married." I about fell over laughing because in one scene the husband calls the girl's father "Ass Bag". I had NEVER heard that word outside of the movie "Outside Providence". So to hear it in this movie just about killed me. Then we went out to dinner at the little Coffe Pot cafe. Didn't stay out too long because it was nearly blizzard like conditions.
I came home, passed out from exhaustion in the bed and woke up feeling a million times better. Waking up to good email helps, too. *Big Grin* So tomorrow I might actually be able to perform my job! Wow, imagine that.
I want to give props to Tamila for introducing me to the fantastically funny word "Ass Hat". I can't wait to say that at work to the other poor wage slaves. They will roll!!!
Thank you to everyone who prayed, sent energy, spells, healing vibes, etc. It worked and I am better.
Bless you all
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. Air! I can breathe!!!! I feel better! Health, what a joy!
2. Going out to the movies (even thought I should have stayed home)
3. Good email
4. knowing that the kids are safe with their dad and I have this free time to enjoy myself
5. Welcoming a sense of divine order into my life.....learning to be happy with what I have. All I need is everything I have.
What a lovely concept. I can breathe now! I don't have to blow my nose every 2 seconds (literally...that is how it was) and my eyes aren't watering. My voice is approaching normal. Hallelujah! I can say "Merry Meet" now instead of "Berry Beet!" LOL!!!
Went out last night and saw "Just Married." I about fell over laughing because in one scene the husband calls the girl's father "Ass Bag". I had NEVER heard that word outside of the movie "Outside Providence". So to hear it in this movie just about killed me. Then we went out to dinner at the little Coffe Pot cafe. Didn't stay out too long because it was nearly blizzard like conditions.
I came home, passed out from exhaustion in the bed and woke up feeling a million times better. Waking up to good email helps, too. *Big Grin* So tomorrow I might actually be able to perform my job! Wow, imagine that.
I want to give props to Tamila for introducing me to the fantastically funny word "Ass Hat". I can't wait to say that at work to the other poor wage slaves. They will roll!!!
Thank you to everyone who prayed, sent energy, spells, healing vibes, etc. It worked and I am better.
Bless you all
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. Air! I can breathe!!!! I feel better! Health, what a joy!
2. Going out to the movies (even thought I should have stayed home)
3. Good email
4. knowing that the kids are safe with their dad and I have this free time to enjoy myself
5. Welcoming a sense of divine order into my life.....learning to be happy with what I have. All I need is everything I have.
Tuesday, January 14, 2003
Holy Mary Must've Heard Me.....
because evil management at work had mercy on me and sent me home early (around 6:30). Those four and a half hours I did work were the most miserable of my career.
I showed up with my nose all red and raw from blowing it every 2 seconds. Plus I kept sneezing my head off. I had to breathe through my mouth. Linda saw me and laughed with pity (bitch). She goes "You look so sad!" I felt like flipping her off but I just told her I felt even worse. Stella knew I felt like shit but she made damn sure ICS pulled out the pallet of shampoo for me to put away. And they called me up twice to line rush. As if that wasn't enough I got my period--and was unprepared for it! So I had to buy "something" from the "vending machine".
Thanks be to all that is holy that Nancy was working today. During our second break she saw I was about ready to hit the floor so she called Beth Anne and Beth Anne sent me home. She had Nancy drive me home because she was worried I would pass out while driving. So Nancy told me to call her tomorrow and she would come pick me up to get my car. I feel sorry for my car having to sit at Wal*Mart all this time. LOL
Nancy told me that she had the same exact thing last week....starts out with a sore throat then the cold bitch slaps you like a big bad mammma jamma. I'm taking vitamins, zinc, drinking lots and lots of water, juice and hot chocolate and taking Motrin. Hopefully I will be better soon. I am damn tired of being sick. But one thing I have learned from this is how much my friends truly do love me.
Mike wasn't working today (which was probably a good thing since I looked like hell warmed over). Everybody was extra super nice to me, though. Probably knew if they looked at me sideways I would either cry or kill them.
I am reading "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. It is very good and I like the concept of the story being told by the girl who was murdered....she is looking down from her heaven and watching her family and their life in the aftermath of her murder. Anyway, I was reading it tonight and I came across such a profound sentence that I actually had to put the book down and savor it. (Every once in awhile a book will strike me like that). It is during her memorial service and she is watching her father as he sits in the pew. She says "I wanted to snake up my father's back, circle his neck, whisper in his ear. But I was already there in his every pore and crevice." I think I was so struck by that because it reminded me of my daughter Faith....does she watch me from heaven? I think so. And she is never far away....as the author says, she is there in my "every pore and crevice". What a gift.
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. Nancy was working tonight
2. My period came...thank God I am not pregnant
3. good book
4. The hope that maybe someday I will feel better
5. Menthol and Camphor bath oils which helped me breathe better.
because evil management at work had mercy on me and sent me home early (around 6:30). Those four and a half hours I did work were the most miserable of my career.
I showed up with my nose all red and raw from blowing it every 2 seconds. Plus I kept sneezing my head off. I had to breathe through my mouth. Linda saw me and laughed with pity (bitch). She goes "You look so sad!" I felt like flipping her off but I just told her I felt even worse. Stella knew I felt like shit but she made damn sure ICS pulled out the pallet of shampoo for me to put away. And they called me up twice to line rush. As if that wasn't enough I got my period--and was unprepared for it! So I had to buy "something" from the "vending machine".
Thanks be to all that is holy that Nancy was working today. During our second break she saw I was about ready to hit the floor so she called Beth Anne and Beth Anne sent me home. She had Nancy drive me home because she was worried I would pass out while driving. So Nancy told me to call her tomorrow and she would come pick me up to get my car. I feel sorry for my car having to sit at Wal*Mart all this time. LOL
Nancy told me that she had the same exact thing last week....starts out with a sore throat then the cold bitch slaps you like a big bad mammma jamma. I'm taking vitamins, zinc, drinking lots and lots of water, juice and hot chocolate and taking Motrin. Hopefully I will be better soon. I am damn tired of being sick. But one thing I have learned from this is how much my friends truly do love me.
Mike wasn't working today (which was probably a good thing since I looked like hell warmed over). Everybody was extra super nice to me, though. Probably knew if they looked at me sideways I would either cry or kill them.
I am reading "The Lovely Bones" by Alice Sebold. It is very good and I like the concept of the story being told by the girl who was murdered....she is looking down from her heaven and watching her family and their life in the aftermath of her murder. Anyway, I was reading it tonight and I came across such a profound sentence that I actually had to put the book down and savor it. (Every once in awhile a book will strike me like that). It is during her memorial service and she is watching her father as he sits in the pew. She says "I wanted to snake up my father's back, circle his neck, whisper in his ear. But I was already there in his every pore and crevice." I think I was so struck by that because it reminded me of my daughter Faith....does she watch me from heaven? I think so. And she is never far away....as the author says, she is there in my "every pore and crevice". What a gift.
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. Nancy was working tonight
2. My period came...thank God I am not pregnant
3. good book
4. The hope that maybe someday I will feel better
5. Menthol and Camphor bath oils which helped me breathe better.
Holy Mary, Mother of God
please heal me!!
The pain in my throat has subsided for the most part. I think the reason for that is because all the junk moved out of my throat and up into my nose. I have gone through half a box of tissue in one night. I saw Dr. Sellon yesterday and he said it is just a really, really bad viral thing and I have to let it run it's course.
In the meantime, it's back to work I go. Oh fun! My smock will be packed with tissues. I don't know how I am to zone when I have to blow my nose every two seconds. Customers will be scared to catch my germs. Maybe they will see how miserable I am and send my sorry ass back home.
'Twill be interesting to see how things go with Mike....I think it will just continue to be a "polite" and "cordial" thing. Which is for the best I suppose. No reason to go around being nasty to each other.
Alan called this afternoon but I didn't answer the phone since I was on the other line. Skank Mike called last night but I didn't answer the phone because he is just a jerk.
please heal me!!
The pain in my throat has subsided for the most part. I think the reason for that is because all the junk moved out of my throat and up into my nose. I have gone through half a box of tissue in one night. I saw Dr. Sellon yesterday and he said it is just a really, really bad viral thing and I have to let it run it's course.
In the meantime, it's back to work I go. Oh fun! My smock will be packed with tissues. I don't know how I am to zone when I have to blow my nose every two seconds. Customers will be scared to catch my germs. Maybe they will see how miserable I am and send my sorry ass back home.
'Twill be interesting to see how things go with Mike....I think it will just continue to be a "polite" and "cordial" thing. Which is for the best I suppose. No reason to go around being nasty to each other.
Alan called this afternoon but I didn't answer the phone since I was on the other line. Skank Mike called last night but I didn't answer the phone because he is just a jerk.
Monday, January 13, 2003
Today
I went to the ER this morning. The pain in my throat was unbearable. I could barely speak.
So the ignorant doctor gave me a quick going over (didn't listen to my chest, didn't draw blood, didn't feel my glands) just did a strep test, which came back negative. He said "it's probably just a bad cold." Sure, a bad cold. That's why my THROAT is killing me. So he perscribed some pill that is supposed to help me cough up whatever is in my lungs and help ease the pain in my throat. He also wrote me a note for two days off work.
When I left the ER I went out to Wal*Mart to give them the note from the doctor. Chad wasn't in the office so I cut through the break room to see if he was in there. He wasn't but Mike was. He was sitting all by himself at this big long table (everyone else was sitting at the other table). Our eyes met and after a few seconds he said "hello" I said "hi" and kept on walking. It was hard not to go over and talk to him but he is truly a lost cause. I gave him my love and he decided he would rather be alone than take the risk of love.
I found Chad out by Lay Away and I gave him my doctor's note. Then I turned my perscription in at the pharmacy and visited with Leslie while it was being filled. After that I came home and tried to tolerate the pain. The pills helped with the chest congestion but did precious little for my throat pain.
Around 5:30 Ron stopped by with a white rose, a can of chicken noodle soup and a box of Junior (Bones) Mints for me. I thought that was sweet of him. The soup felt good on my throat and I put the mints in the freezer until my throat is doing better. He knows all the things I like. He didn't stay long as he is still setting up his apartment.
Then a little after 6 Alan came over. He got me a nice card and I thought that was very sweet and thoughtful of him....but what he wrote inside was kind of funny: "Get well soon. I like your company. I don't have a dictionary with me so I'll keep this short. Love, Al". I guess farm boys aren't very romantic. But I appreciate the sentiment.
At 7 Leslie came over and she brought me a glass jar filled with potpourri and covered with lace, tied in a red ribbon. I thought it was very sweet of her. It is good to know I have friends who care about me and love me. She stayed with me and we watched "The Dead Zone" on USA. She kept making me laugh which killed my throat but overall laughter is a great medicine. At one point the only laugh I could make was a squeak. LMAO! I thought I had taken all my Christmas decorations down and then tonight she goes "oh my God! The stockings!" I still had the goddamned stockings hanging up!!! I don't know how many days I have looked at that wall and never noticed the stockings still hanging there! What a reject I am!!! Who knows how long they would be there if she wouldn't have pointed them out.
Oh, how I pray my throat will feel better tomorrow. I feel like I am swallowing razor blades right now. I'd suspect mono if I hadn't had it already.
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. The love and support of my friends
2. What little relief I do get from pain meds and throat lozenges
3. a doctor's note for two days off work
4. trash service
5. movies
I went to the ER this morning. The pain in my throat was unbearable. I could barely speak.
So the ignorant doctor gave me a quick going over (didn't listen to my chest, didn't draw blood, didn't feel my glands) just did a strep test, which came back negative. He said "it's probably just a bad cold." Sure, a bad cold. That's why my THROAT is killing me. So he perscribed some pill that is supposed to help me cough up whatever is in my lungs and help ease the pain in my throat. He also wrote me a note for two days off work.
When I left the ER I went out to Wal*Mart to give them the note from the doctor. Chad wasn't in the office so I cut through the break room to see if he was in there. He wasn't but Mike was. He was sitting all by himself at this big long table (everyone else was sitting at the other table). Our eyes met and after a few seconds he said "hello" I said "hi" and kept on walking. It was hard not to go over and talk to him but he is truly a lost cause. I gave him my love and he decided he would rather be alone than take the risk of love.
I found Chad out by Lay Away and I gave him my doctor's note. Then I turned my perscription in at the pharmacy and visited with Leslie while it was being filled. After that I came home and tried to tolerate the pain. The pills helped with the chest congestion but did precious little for my throat pain.
Around 5:30 Ron stopped by with a white rose, a can of chicken noodle soup and a box of Junior (Bones) Mints for me. I thought that was sweet of him. The soup felt good on my throat and I put the mints in the freezer until my throat is doing better. He knows all the things I like. He didn't stay long as he is still setting up his apartment.
Then a little after 6 Alan came over. He got me a nice card and I thought that was very sweet and thoughtful of him....but what he wrote inside was kind of funny: "Get well soon. I like your company. I don't have a dictionary with me so I'll keep this short. Love, Al". I guess farm boys aren't very romantic. But I appreciate the sentiment.
At 7 Leslie came over and she brought me a glass jar filled with potpourri and covered with lace, tied in a red ribbon. I thought it was very sweet of her. It is good to know I have friends who care about me and love me. She stayed with me and we watched "The Dead Zone" on USA. She kept making me laugh which killed my throat but overall laughter is a great medicine. At one point the only laugh I could make was a squeak. LMAO! I thought I had taken all my Christmas decorations down and then tonight she goes "oh my God! The stockings!" I still had the goddamned stockings hanging up!!! I don't know how many days I have looked at that wall and never noticed the stockings still hanging there! What a reject I am!!! Who knows how long they would be there if she wouldn't have pointed them out.
Oh, how I pray my throat will feel better tomorrow. I feel like I am swallowing razor blades right now. I'd suspect mono if I hadn't had it already.
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. The love and support of my friends
2. What little relief I do get from pain meds and throat lozenges
3. a doctor's note for two days off work
4. trash service
5. movies
Sunday, January 12, 2003
I Wish I Could Carry Your Smile In My Heart
It must be the PMS (although that should be over soon as my period is due tomorrow/today/whatever) but I keep having thoughts of calling Mike or sending him an email. I don't know why. He walked out on me while I cried over my broken heart (that HE stomped on) but I do miss him. Funny, he worked 10-7 tonight but I managed to go all day without seeing him. Ah, hell. Screw it. It is a useless cause.
Alan is all sorts of pissed off at me because I told him I needed my space. (Gee, I sound like Mike now). He kept following me around at work and popping up when I least expected it. Finally I told him what my Aunt Linda (who works in Lay Away) told me about him (how he chased after seven different women these past two years at work and how the guy on ICS told me that "the guys" were worried about me getting involved with him). Naturally he got real pissed off and wanted to go confront Linda. He told me he would talk to me in the parking lot after work but I left before he did. Then he called me shortly after work but I didn't answer the phone (again, I am acting like Mike). When I left the house around 10:20 to go get the WIC stuff he was driving by. I am worried. I don't want to hurt him...I know he would give me anything I asked for, but he just doesn't have the social graces that I like a man to have and I know it sounds petty as all hell but he is short...and I am tall. It makes me feel insecure. So why waste our time? I will still be friends with him but I can't give him the commitment he wants.
Ron has been in touch. It is difficult for me to say this after all he did (going out to TLE) but I do miss him. We made a good looking couple, he always made me laugh, he wasn't afraid to tell me he loved me, he would do HUGE things (like take me to Maine, Massachussets, take me to meet Stephen King, concerts, etc) and little things (a trail of chocolate kisses leading up the stairs to the bed, a rose and card taped to the door when I was at work, etc) to show his love for me, and for the most part he took care of me. I just have to be so very careful. I am very vulnerable right now....
Besides being vulnerable I am sicker than hell. I can't stop coughing and I nearly lost my voice at work because my throat was so sore. I sounded like a frog when I talked. That or my voice would just cut out. I had to have Pam page out when my area was done because I couldn't speak on the PA with my voice the way it was. I am thinking of going to the ER in the morning to see if I have strep, brochitis or what. Thankfully Loretta is working until 10 with me tomorrow. So that will be a nice day. I like working with her.
I guess I better get my ass to bed since it is 3:30.
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. throat lozenges
2. water
3. cute guy at Blockbuster
4. seeing my parents in Wal*Hell tonight
5. got my work done despite herds of customers and this illness from hell
It must be the PMS (although that should be over soon as my period is due tomorrow/today/whatever) but I keep having thoughts of calling Mike or sending him an email. I don't know why. He walked out on me while I cried over my broken heart (that HE stomped on) but I do miss him. Funny, he worked 10-7 tonight but I managed to go all day without seeing him. Ah, hell. Screw it. It is a useless cause.
Alan is all sorts of pissed off at me because I told him I needed my space. (Gee, I sound like Mike now). He kept following me around at work and popping up when I least expected it. Finally I told him what my Aunt Linda (who works in Lay Away) told me about him (how he chased after seven different women these past two years at work and how the guy on ICS told me that "the guys" were worried about me getting involved with him). Naturally he got real pissed off and wanted to go confront Linda. He told me he would talk to me in the parking lot after work but I left before he did. Then he called me shortly after work but I didn't answer the phone (again, I am acting like Mike). When I left the house around 10:20 to go get the WIC stuff he was driving by. I am worried. I don't want to hurt him...I know he would give me anything I asked for, but he just doesn't have the social graces that I like a man to have and I know it sounds petty as all hell but he is short...and I am tall. It makes me feel insecure. So why waste our time? I will still be friends with him but I can't give him the commitment he wants.
Ron has been in touch. It is difficult for me to say this after all he did (going out to TLE) but I do miss him. We made a good looking couple, he always made me laugh, he wasn't afraid to tell me he loved me, he would do HUGE things (like take me to Maine, Massachussets, take me to meet Stephen King, concerts, etc) and little things (a trail of chocolate kisses leading up the stairs to the bed, a rose and card taped to the door when I was at work, etc) to show his love for me, and for the most part he took care of me. I just have to be so very careful. I am very vulnerable right now....
Besides being vulnerable I am sicker than hell. I can't stop coughing and I nearly lost my voice at work because my throat was so sore. I sounded like a frog when I talked. That or my voice would just cut out. I had to have Pam page out when my area was done because I couldn't speak on the PA with my voice the way it was. I am thinking of going to the ER in the morning to see if I have strep, brochitis or what. Thankfully Loretta is working until 10 with me tomorrow. So that will be a nice day. I like working with her.
I guess I better get my ass to bed since it is 3:30.
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. throat lozenges
2. water
3. cute guy at Blockbuster
4. seeing my parents in Wal*Hell tonight
5. got my work done despite herds of customers and this illness from hell
