~She dances by the light of the moon~
Lay Down Beside Me
I’ve spent my life looking for you
Finding my way wasn’t easy to do
But I knew there was you all the while
And it’s been worth every mile
Chorus:
So lay down beside me
Love me and hide me
Kiss all the hurting of this world away
Hold me so close that I feel your heartbeat
And don’t ever wander away
Mornings and evenings all were the same
There was no music till I heard your name
But I knew when I saw you smile
Now I can rest for awhile
Chorus:
So lay down beside me
Love me and hide me
Kiss all the hurtin of this world away
Hold me so close that I feel your heartbeat
And don’t ever wander away
And don’t ever wander away.......
*Sigh* Life is good. Like the old saying goes "When God(dess) closes one door S/he opens another".
Work was alright last night. Not too busy...just that I had to cover three departments: HBA, Cosmetics and Pets. I think Steve did it to punish me because I told him I was coming in at 4 instead of 2.
5 Gratitudes:
the way my flowers looked in the glow of the candle light
that the fire in my cauldron didn't burn my bed down. LOL
Finding a roll of toilet paper waaaaay in the back under the sink LMAO
Steve brought snacks to the meeting for a change
About Love and Fear
Again, I found this in my book "Love Poems from God". It reminds me of Mike...how he closes himself off from the world for fear of being hurt. And it reminds me of others...who, despite fear, open themselves up and share the beauty that is inside because they feel the "encouragement of the Light."
How did the rose ever open its heart
and give to this world all of it's beauty?
It felt the encouragement of light against its being,
otherwise we all remain too frightened.
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The Five Gratitudes
1. my running pants...(or wind pants, whatever you call them). They are comfortable and my butt looks good in them. LOL!!!
2. those who open their hearts
3. Got my shipment from the DVD club....bringing my total DVD count up to 171
4. cherry coke
5. great hair tips in this month's Cosmo
One More Thing....
I found this on the SARK bulletin board.
One lady posted about losing her one year old neice. The little girl had been coughing and when the parents woke up the next morning she was dead. It was just so sad the way she described it and having lost a child myself I know the horror and the heartache. She posted a picture of this little girl and she looked just like an angel. I will never understand why God allows children to suffer. Or why He allows children to die and then leaves parents to suffer. I guess that's why after Faith died I chose to worship God as a Mother....a Mother wouldn't hurt her children like that. But, I digress
Someone (CompassionInAction is the screen name) had posted this prayer in response and I thought it was just gorgeous:
There are times when life feels so heavy that it becomes difficult to move,
When breathing in and out begins to feel like too much,
When all the beauty has drained from the world.
Questions fall in the silence unanswered;
Rage fills the void when the silence is too much.
The pain echoes loudly, muffling the sounds of those who stand in awkward silence unsure of what to say.
Allow yourself the time, the space to grieve for all that is lost.
Let the sadness wash over you, for the waves of healing will come in time.
Life moves forward one moment at a time.
After awhile life will beckon you to come play again, but only after the love of friends and family have begun to heal your broken hearts, and the laughter of your angel will fall from the sky to hold you during the hard times.
I Know the Pieces Fit.....
Went out tonight and saw the movie "About Schmidt". Much of it was filmed in Nebraska...primarily Omaha. And let me say that Omaha looks just as dull on the movie screen as it does in real life. It looks like a good place to commit suicide. The film makers captured that part of Nebraska quite well.
Overall it was a good movie and Jack Nicholson (sp) gave an outstanding performance. Kathy Bates had a nude scene in the movie, too. I have always liked her....she was damn good in "Misery" and "Dolores Claiborne" but I have even more respect for her now. It took ovaries of steel for her to do that. How brave! Make all the fat jokes you want I don't give a rat's ass. That was brave. She kicks ass. It was refreshing (is that the word I want??) to see a "real" woman do a scene like that. No silicone or tummy tucks there. Just a real, female body. Bravo.
Mike continues to talk to me. It is difficult. I don't know if he wants to just be friends (because everyone is blowing him off at work since he broke my heart) or if he thinks there is still a chance. If he does he is mistaken.
I think Alan is finally understanding that I cannot have a relationship with him. I am willing to be his friend and all that but it would be unfair and cruel of me to lead him on.
I am hoping I won't get fired. I played fast and loose with my lunch hour on Tuesday.......
Leslie came over for a bit today. We picked up Tommy and got my mail from the Pak Mail place. She always makes me laugh until my stomach hurts.
The 5 Gratitudes:
1. I got my shipment of books today.
2. good movie
3. excellent email
4. laughing
5. spending time with my kids
I Like This One....
I found this some time ago on a blog (pixie.nu) and it just grabbed me. I think it is good for all abuse survivors and for anyone who has suffered a broken heart. DickAxe, you who are afraid of love and care only for your own feelings, this is for you:
All I can think is that you never deserved me
and that your memory does not deserve to own me now.
Your inadequacies are not mine.
Your shortcomings are not my responsiblility.
Your mistakes are not my fault.
Your vices are no longer mine.
And your sins are no longer mine to bear the shame of.
I will go on with the knowledge that I am nothing like you.
I will move ahead forever grateful of that.
I will go on with a bit of extra spirit and hope
Even if at times it is only to say "fuck you"
to everything you are
Everything you almost caused me to become.
I will give my love wholeheartedly
Without the scared restraint of a victim
Even when it is hard.
Because I still can.
I will be happy and I will be free
And I will be smiling everytime I think
Of how small, stupid and incapable you believed me to be
Because in the end
It has only shown me that you never knew who the hell I was.
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Oh, and if you want to know who "Dick Axe" is....LOL, ask Tamila. Or email me.
Sorry
I didn't mean to offend anyone when I was commenting on the cashier who couldn't do any zoning.
I realize there are some people with medical conditons that can't do certain tasks. I don't know if this girl had a medical problem or not. If she did, she never mentioned it.
If indeed she did, then management should have known better than to send her out to a department like mine.
Again, sorry for being insensitive.
