Later, folks!

I am going to be spending the weekend with my beloved.

I'll be back Sunday evening....with my "100" list. LOL

I am about to say "the hell with teeth" and get false ones. LMAO

So leave me lots of messages.

5 Gratitudes

1. Finding the antibiotics in the medicine cabinet
2. Dr. Wendt (the oral surgeon) perscribing me "fresh" antibiotics and giving me the blessed Peridex mouthwash
3. getting to be with my sweetheart, Mark, all weekend
4. Watching Tommy care for his little sister Winter
5. Smiling   ¶ 1:42 PM

  Comfort Zone

My wisdom tooth is acting up again. I hate it. It is impacted, lying sideways under the gum. There is no way I am going to let the oral suregeon pull it out. I am scared to death.

I found some antibiotics way in the back of the medicine cabinet. I am taking those, Motrin and Tylenol. Hopefully I will feel better soon.

I have found a peace with Mark. And this peace and trust in him has given me new insights about myself and given me more confidence in myself. It's hard to explain. I just know that trusting him, thinking of our future and taking it day by day has brought me so much peace and self confidence.

What I do not understand, however, is why some people (mostly ex boyfriends) always seem to crawl out from under thier rocks and try to ruin my happiness. Do they have a radar that says "Jen is happy, Jen is feeling good" so they must come and try to make me feel uneasy or sabatoge my current relationship in a feeble attempt to get me back?

Tamila has challenged me and the other two girls in "The Bitches" to make a list of 100 tid bits about ourselves. I will have to start to work on that. One of us, Princess Kelly has finished her list already and she did a great job. Mine will probably read "I hate Wal*Mart" over and over.   ¶ 2:27 AM

 
  ¶ 7:58 AM

  The Magic Shrinking Pill

*sigh* Tonight was just another night in Hell. I worked the 4-10 shift. First thing Chad says to me is that I will probably be spending all night line rushing as they only had 5 cashiers on staff. Unreal. Luck was with me as I only got called up once. Things slowed down around 8pm.

Nancy wasn't there. She was supposed to work 2-8 so she must have called in sick. Luckily the Pets. Dept. manager was there when the fish came in. Otherwise yours truly would have taken the fish in.

Chad saw my area was clean and he told me to go help Becky in the Toy clearance aisle when I was done, then I could go home. So, I blew out about half an hour early. That is a good thing. Let's see...I make a whopping $6.40/hr....so leaving a half hour early I lost $3.20. I'll take that. It's worth it to me.

I was in a mood anyway.

I think PMS has descended upon me. I am due on the 14th (Happy Valentine's Day) and PMS comes about a week before my period....that is the only thing I can think of to explain my mood. That or the fact that I am a broke ass. They didn't take the Child Support out of Brian's account until the 3rd (as the 1st was on a weekend) so I probably won't get it until the 10th with my luck. I am at the mercy of the state regarding child support.

Also Leslie is leaving tomorrow at 5:30am and she won't be back until late on the 16th. I am going to miss her something fierce. =-( She came in twice tonight to see me. She just couldn't bear to say good-bye. *Sigh* I wish there was a magical pill I could swallow (besides Klonopin, LOL) that would make me really, really tiny (the size of an M&M, perhaps) and then I could fit in her pocket and go with her. Then when she got to the sea she could throw me in and I would puff back up to normal size. LMAO--the warped ways of my mind.

Mark came out to visit me for a few minutes tonight. Thank goodness I got to see him before they called me up to linerush. I just knew they'd call me up before he came in. But that worked in my favor.

I have to work on my birthday, dammit. Soooo, I guess I will do the family thing (including my Mark) on the 13th. Winter and I will celebrate our birthdays together. Loretta said tonight that she is going to bake me a cake on my real birthday (the 16th) and we will celebrate at work. Hopefully Beth Anne will give me a birthday pin. And I hope all the departments call out to wish me a Happy Birthday. They do that a lot.

When Leslie gets back she has some sort of big plan for her and I. I wonder what it will be?? She is bringing me a gift from Oregon (besides some sand, water and shells) so that will be nice.

5 Gratitudes:

1. Fairly easy night at work despite the onset of PMS
2. Getting to go home early
3. My parents saying that they are proud of me for working so hard to support myself and the kids
4. Mark (finding him, the fact that he cares about me, etc)
5. Adding a new word to my tiny vocabulary: "recalcitrant: Marked by stubborn resistance to and defiance of authority". Yup, that's me alright.   ¶ 1:29 AM

  Winter...

can sing really well. Her current favorites are "Kiss the Girl" (from The Little Mermaid Soundtrack), "Today" by John Denver (which she calls the Strawberry Song because of the part where he says "Today while the blossoms still cling to the vine/I'll taste your strawberries/I'll drink your sweet wine..") and you could have knocked me over with a feather when she sang "I fall to pieces..." in her little baby voice while I was putting her shoes on. It was so cute I wanted to cry!

So I started to sing the rest of the song to her and she leaned over and kissed me. =-)

Mark and I had a great night. I won't go into details (as they are all etched upon my heart anyway) but I just had a fabulous time. He is a wonderful man. I always thought men could be like this, but I had never found one until I found him. And I don't want him going anywhere. He cares for me and I know it. I want no one else but him and he knows that. What I have with Mark makes the "thing" with Mike seem like child's play. I was actually laughing over things I said about Mike in previous entries. LOL

5 Gratitudes:

1. The funny label on the Zima bottle "ClearMalt Beverage With Natural Flavor (Beer In TX)"
2. phonebashing.com I laughed until I cried
3. Mark--the fact that he is in my life, that he cares for me, the time I spend with him, etc. etc.
4. I got nice Valentine's gifts from Leslie and she liked what I got her, too.
5. I didn't crash the car driving in the snow.
  ¶ 1:20 AM

  Repeated Pleasures

Work was not so bad this evening. It was extremely busy and I had a pallet to work in the afternoon. But overall it was pretty uneventful. Just the typical Wal*Mart Sunday.

After work I stopped at Mark's place to give him the pizza coupon. I cannot wait until tomorrow night. It cannot come soon enough for me. I need to de-stress and just relax with my "special someone".

Leslie was funny at work. She was making all these comments about Mark right in earshot of Mike. I don't know (or care) if he heard. I think the funniest thing was when she said "It sucks to be you, Martin". All day long whenever I thought of that I would laugh. I am going to miss her so much while she is in Oregon.

As money is so tight I didn't eat at work. I took a bottle of water from home with me and just filled it up at the water fountain everytime I took a break. I had put a Slim Fast Meal bar in my purse so I ate that for dinner. I could have killed the boy on ICS who brought leftover Chicago style Deep Dish Pizza from Pizza Hut. I felt like telling him "I will work your pallet for you if you just give me one slice!!!"

I have to find a new job, though. I really do. I am just about at my breaking point working a sweat for a worthless check (as Eminem would say).

5 Gratitudes:

1. I had helpers tonight in HBA
2. I saw Mark for a little while...was able to kiss and hug him
3. Leslie made me laugh (but that is nothing new)
4. coming home to a clean house (except for laundry)
5. Got my checks ordered

  ¶ 1:39 AM

  The Amazing Flying Fish

Work was alright today. It was busy in the first part of the day. I didn't even attempt to do anything in my dept. except customer service. Instead I went over and took care of the fish (except the catfish, LOL).

I had the lids open on the tanks and was scooping out the dead ones (I know, yuck) when this customer came over and she wanted an algae eater. So I got her one and as I was writing the number on the bag I see out of the corner of my eye this thing come flying out of the tank. I looked over and one of the Oscars had dived out of the tank (oh, about 6 feet above the floor) and landed on the carpet. I looked at the fish, looked at the customer and said "oh my God!" LMAO She looked at the fish, looked at me and said "Oh shit!"

I picked him up in the net and put him back in the water. He swam kind of funny for a few minutes but recovered quickly. I simply cannot believe he did that. Thank God it didn't die! Or get retarded by hitting it's head on the floor. LMAO, I shouldn't laugh but it is funny.

At 6pm my sweetheart showed up. I started getting antsy around 4pm, LOL. Then as it got closer to 6 everytime a customer would come down the aisle I would look up expectantly to see if it was Mark. He was my knight in shining armor...rescuing me from the evil empire of Wal*Mart and taking me out to dinner. He even brought me back in time so management wouldn't torture me.

When he dropped me off, before I got out of the car, he kissed me.....mmmm, delicious. His lips are so soft...so full and I feel my spirit entertwine with his when we kiss. Yes, indeed, I have it BAAAD for this man. I have never felt like this before. EVER. I have had relationships before (obviously) but NONE of them....not even one...comes close to what I feel for this man.

Whenever I see him (be it at my doorstep, Hell*Mart, his place) I grin like an idiot. Sheesh, tonight I was filling up my drink cup and was looking at him...never mind the fact that my cup was overflowing...I just kept grinning at him until the pop got my hand all wet. Yet, I am so at ease with him. I felt like I have known him for years. At the chance of sounding stupid or like a cliche, I feel that he is my soul mate, or my "split apart" (for those of you who have seen "The Butcher's Wife"). It's as if every quality I ever wished for in a man was put into him. And then the Goddess gave him to me.

When I first saw Mark the phrase "THERE you are!" went through my head. As if he had been gone for awhile and he was finally back...even though it was our first face to face meeting. Then I noticed his lovely dark hair, green eyes....tall muscular body. I thought "I could get used to this!" Mark bends over backwards to find time with me. Mark is where I belong and I thank the Goddess for bringing him to me. He begins where I end....and I don't want to be without him.

I trust him. After what Ron pulled I thought I would never trust again. But I trusted Mark from the moment I laid eyes on him. I find my shelter in his eyes...

Tonight he made the sweetest gesture, bless him. He gave me a key to his place. I wanted to cry. To know that he trusts me that much, that he wants to be with me that much.....my God. How did I get so lucky?

Monday he is coming over and we are going to have Pizza and watch one of my million DVD's. Then I am going to spend the weekend with him at his place. I cannot wait! *Jen does the happy dance*

Getting back to the fish thing....there was this little boy in the store tonight. He was probably about 8 or 9. He came up to me and asked me if I would get him a fish. I said "Sure!" So we go over there and his mom was waiting. He said he wanted two goldfish. So I asked him which ones he wanted. Unlike some stupid adults he said "Whatever ones you can catch. As long as they are pretty." So I picked out a nice fan tail one and then a gold and white one. He asked his mom if he could get a frog, too. She was kind of impatient but said, "Ok." So I got the frog. He asked if the frog could go in the same bag with the fish. I said "Sure! Then he won't be lonely." And the kid says "Yeah, like I am lonely at school." Aw God! I wanted to cry! Like he didn't have friends at school or something. The poor thing. I just looked over my shoulder at his mom and kind of gave her a sad smile. I said "Well, this frog will be so happy to go home with you." Then the mom was asking me about the beta fish. They had a male and wanted a female. So she had the boy pick a female out. He said "I like this one! Let's name it Len!" The mother turned red and looked kind of funny. I smiled at her and she said "Len was my dad's name. He died about a year ago." And the boy said "So I am going to name this fish after my grandpa!" I held back my tears and said "Oh, your grandpa will love that!" I told them to have a nice day and they left. I was just so touched by all that. It's amazing the things you see/hear at Wal*mart.

Like customers sniffing tampons. Yes, it happened. Tonight.

After work I picked up Tom from my folk's house and spent some time there crying about my bills and my lack of funds. But I am just surrendering it. I give it to the Universe and trust that a Mother Goddess would not let her Child starve or suffer. I accept and bless the circumstances. All will be fine.

5 Gratitudes
1. Mark.....the way he cares for me, the way I feel when I am with him, the way he makes me laugh, the way he understands me (even if he doesn't always agree, LOL), his wisdom, I could go on and on
2. Found a .wav file of Roy Orbison singing "I Drove All Night". THAT is the way it is supposed to be. The song is meant to be SUNG not SCREAMED like Celine Dion and Cyndi Lauper do. Poor Roy is probably rolling in his grave.
3. Lovely, hot bubble bath
4. I wore *gasp* blue jeans to work and didn't get in trouble
5. Hearing my son laugh with my dad   ¶ 4:20 AM